


Back to You

by StarlightIncarnate



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, NSFW Chapters, Recovery, Sexual Abuse, Sisters, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:54:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29624508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightIncarnate/pseuds/StarlightIncarnate
Summary: Modern AU fic where Elain survives and gets out of an abusive relationship from Graysen. Her sisters are there to comfort and support her, but who really helps her recovery back to her lighthearted self is Azriel. A slow burn Elriel.
Relationships: Elain Archeron & Azriel, Elain Archeron/Azriel, Elain Archeron/Graysen, Feyre Archeron & Rhysand, Feyre Archeron/Rhysand, Morrigan/Nuala, Nesta Archeron/Cassian, Nesta Archeron/Tomas Mandray
Comments: 11
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter One - The Estate

**Author's Note:**

> This fic starts out really dark. If you have any trigger warnings, I would suggest this not be the fic for you. However, TW and any NSFW content will be highlighted in the notes before each chapter and further will be indicated by asterisks before each section of said content.

**Chapter One**  
 **The Estate**  
Elain

“Oh come on, Laney, get out of this wretched estate for once in your life, you’re young, you’re beautiful, you should go have fun with other young, beautiful people,” Feyre exclaimed, dramatically falling to her knees begging Elain to go out with her and Nesta for the night as she walked away from them.

“Don’t push her,” Nesta quaked, “she’ll join us when she’s ready,” she finished as she quickly side-stepped Feyre’s kneeling position.

Flabbergasted, Feyre shot to her feet and caught up to Nesta before she could reach Elain. She grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her back. Nesta rolled her eyes, but gave her youngest sister her attention.

“What are you doing,” Feyre whisper-shouted at her, “Graysen never lets her out of his sight or even out of this estate for the matter! He’s finally out of town, this is her chance! Her wake-up call to see what being in love _should_ be like, to see all that she’s missing out on,” Feyre paused before continuing, laying it on thick, “she’ll listen to you, I need you to help me get her out.”

Nesta, of course, knew that Feyre was right. And that Elain was being locked away in the Graysen family estate, wasting away each and every day like a prisoner. She knew that Elain needed fresh air, and she knew that she was no longer happy. But she also knew that it was not her place to push Elain to do anything. It was something all the Archeron sisters had in common, they were too headstrong to be pushed around and bent to another’s will, never again. Being forced to grow up orphans when their father left them, they needed to look after each other, they had time for no one else. They knew how to take care of themselves. And Elain could take care of herself. It would do her no good to have gone through everything they had, just to be babied by her older sister.

And Elain was grown now. No longer was it Nesta’s responsibility to look over her, though it took much of her willpower not to. Nesta could not push Elain towards something she was not yet ready to face, at the risk of pushing her away.

Nesta knew all too well what it was like to be in a relationship with a man who took and took and took. After all, she too had her trials and tribulations with her brief relationship with that horrid Thomas Mandray. Even Feyre knew, with being with that Tamlin character what it was like to feel trapped and tied to someone. To feel like you owe them your love out of debt you could never repay back.

Nesta could only hope that Elain, too, would come to the same realizations that she and Feyre did. That Elain would find someone who made her happy in the way that Rhysand made Feyre happy, and the way Cassian did her.

“We cannot push her too hard, Feyre, or she will resent us,” Nesta responded to Feyre as she entered the sitting room where Elain was quietly nursing a mug of tea.

Sighing, Feyre followed her oldest sister into the stuffy, and sparsely-decorated room.

Elain was standing in front of a large, cathedral-style window overlooking the grounds. Dull browns and grays met her eye, the cold, dead trees bare of their leaves, overgrown flower gardens held hostage the few remaining leaves that had not yet blown away. Dusty whips of tiny snowflakes flurried outside in the wind.

“Okay, fine,” Feyre sighed as she slumped down into one of the uncomfortable sitting chairs, “stay home alone, staring out that gaudy window. Honestly, Lane, it’s depressing.”

A slow, sad smile spread across Elain’s face, but her eyes never left the window. “Graysen is concerned for my safety, it may get down to freezing tonight, the roads could become slick. He doesn’t want me driving in this.”

Nesta and Feyre made eye-contact as Nesta sat down gracefully in the chair opposite her. Feyre’s eyes screamed: _say something, Nesta!_

“Okay,” Nesta drew out, “well what if Feyre and I stayed in with you tonight? We could open a bottle of wine and watch cheesy chick-flicks, or give each other awful makeovers,” her suggestions grew more enthusiastic as her ideas snowballed.

“Hold up, no way,” Feyre cut in. Now it was Nesta’s turn to shoot daggers at Feyre. “Just because she wants to stay locked in this prison doesn’t mean I want to,” Feyre said as she raised her hands in surrender. “Don’t blame me.”

“Feyre is right, you two go have fun. There is some reading I’ve been meaning to catch up on anyways,” Elain said quietly as she clearly tried to send encouraging smiles her sisters’ way.

Feyre was just about to open her mouth to oppose, when Nesta cut her off. “If you say so, Lane. Let us know if you change your mind, alright?” And with that, she rose to hug her sister before departing. Feyre begrudgingly followed suit, and stormed out behind a poised Nesta.

***

After her sisters left, Elain remained in the sitting room for quite some time, well beyond when her tea became cold. She stayed, and looked out the window until the stars winked into view.

She hated to admit it, but she knew her sisters were right, at least in some way. At the very least Elain knew that they meant well. She heard the way they spoke about her when they thought she couldn’t hear them. They worried about her. Elain realized that she had lost some weight, yes, but that wasn’t the end of the world. And she knew she hadn’t been gardening anymore, but to be fair it was the beginning of winter after all… _you have a greenhouse_ , Nesta would point out, _and you could have indoor plants,_ Feyre would chime in, _and you stopped gardening outdoors well before fall arrived,_ they’d lay down their final argument to her. Okay so fine, she stopped gardening. So what? People lose interest in things all the time, they outgrew their habits.

In some ways, it warmed her heart knowing that her sisters cared so much for her, even though she was no one of importance. She did not get a full-ride scholarship to Johns Hopkins School of Medicine like Nesta, and she did not have entire galleries dedicated to her name in museums like Feyre. She had no accomplishments to her name, the best thing she had going for her was marrying into a wealthy and successful family, and popping out a few kids to become a stay-at-home housewife and mother.

Not that that would be the worst thing in the world, no. Elain adored the idea of having children, and dreamed of the day she would become a mother. She just… couldn’t see that in her future. It was as if lately, whenever she pictured her future, it was like a murky sheen was thrown over it, and she couldn’t make out what was in store for her.

When she was a little girl she had her whole life figured out. She would go to college and get a business degree, so that she would know the ins and outs, tricks and tips of owning her own flower shop. A flower shop where she would meet a handsome man who would fall deeply in love with her and they would marry and have three beautiful children. And she and her husband would grow old and grey together and die in each other’s arms.

Now all of that seemed so silly to her. Owning her own business? She could never. Graysen had told her that more than once. Being the son of a very successful business owner and heir to Nolan and Sons Co., he knew quite a lot about the game, and _you just don’t have what it takes_ , he told her one day after she brought up the idea of opening a shop.

Sighing, she finally rose from the sitting room and headed upstairs to her room. Not _their_ room, no, but hers and hers alone. Grayson’s father refused to let them share a room together before they were wed. And though Elain told herself it didn’t bother her, she couldn’t pretend not to hear the giggling and drunk laughter that would sometimes follow Graysen home after he’d been out late. More than once he had brought other women back to the estate, late at night after everyone had gone to sleep, but with her rooms just down the hall, Elain could hear every time. She had never mentioned it to anyone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Verbal/Emotional/Physical Abuse

**Chapter Two**  
 **Daily Dose Café**  
TW: Verbal/Emotional/Physical Abuse

Elain

Elain slept in late the next day, it was nearly 11:00 by the time she dragged herself out of bed. Forcing herself to get ready and presentable for the day. She made quick work of her hair, doing it up in a loose braid. She didn’t bother with makeup either, even though the dark circles under her eyes made her look like a zombie. Throwing on one of Graysen’s oldest and most worn hoodies, she brushed her teeth, skipping breakfast altogether, and quickly walked out to her car.

She drove a cute little G6, though the thing was getting a bit old. She loved that car, it was her first and only. She, Nesta, and even Feyre all chipped in to buy it for her on her sixteenth birthday and she'd had it since. Once she started the car, which she named Kelly, she put the heat on full blast and waited for it to warm up and defrost the windshield. Rubbing her hands together and blowing hot air into her fists, she sent a quick text to Graysen, letting him know she was leaving the estate to run to the store quickly.

They had maids and servants who did this work for them, so Graysen never saw the need for Elain to leave. But sometimes Elain would "forget" to add something to the grocery list, or she would get a sudden craving for something between runs. She also liked to soak up the guilty pleasures of buying herself an expensive latte once in a while and to sit in the charming little coffee shops where no one would know her and where she could pretend she was another person.

She pulled into the parking lot of her favorite coffee shop, Daily Dose Café, and pulled out her phone to see a text from Graysen.

**Gray, 11:49 am:** _If you need something from the store, have Hannah go get it for you._

**Gray, 11:55 am:** _I’ve been informed you left anyway, despite my request for Hannah to just go. Honestly, Elain, I don’t understand why you deliberately disobey me._

It was after noon now. She hadn’t seen Graysen’s text while she was driving. _Shit, shit, shit_. Deciding it would be better - and quicker - to just give him a call, she dialed his number.

She chewed on her thumbnail as she anxiously waited for him to pick up. She was greeted with a clipped “Grayson, Nolan Sons and Company,” and she let out a sigh. He always answered the phone like that, even though she knew he had caller I.D. and knew it was her dialing him.

“Graysen, hi, it-it’s Elain,” she stammered. “Uh, I didn’t see your text before I left, I am so, so sorry. I just pulled into the store when I checked my phone, I was driving…”

She was cut off when Graysen interrupted her and said, “Elain, I am in a very important business meeting. Groceries were delivered just yesterday, what could you possibly need from the store?” When she didn’t answer right away he said, “well? I’m waiting.”

“I just-I just thought it would be nice to get out of the house a bit, you know? Maybe walk around a bit or grab a coffee or something…”

“Ninety-four acres isn’t enough for you to _walk around on_ ,” he mocked her. “You just want an excuse to go whoring about the town, don’t you? Hoping to run into another man while I’m away. Well, you better enjoy it, _whore_ , because when I get back I’m going to show you exactly who you belong to,” and he hung up.

Elain debated calling him back, to apologize and reassure him that she was loyal to him and would never, _ever_ cheat on him, but decided against it and instead she nestled deeper into her hoodie as quiet tears fell. She felt so worthless and horrible. Graysen was in an important business meeting, he couldn’t be losing his focus worried about what she was doing, _how foolish_ , she thought.

After her tears ran dry, she considered just going back to the estate and calling it a day; but she _did_ drive all the way up here. And she did not want to go through that whole fight with Graysen and not even end up getting a coffee out of it. So she turned her key and killed the ignition. Checking her face once more in the mirror, her eyes were red from crying, and she looked like a mess, but this was a big city, no one would pay her any mind, she reminded herself as she strolled into Daily Dose.

She sat down in a window seat in the front corner. The bench seats were worn with use, but in a comforting way. A perky young woman, though probably not much younger than Elain herself approached her table. “A white mocha made with almond milk, please,” she told the barista after she was prompted for her order, “and actually, could I get an extra shot of espresso, too, I need the pick-me-up,” she chuckled at herself.

“Yeah sure thing,” the dark-skinned barista cheerfully responded, “I’ll be right back to bring that out for you,” she smiled a sad smile at Elain, probably out of sympathy for her obvious tear-stained cheeks.

Wiping them, she got out her wallet to pay for the latte. Cash, lest Graysen decided to check her bank statements and realize she wasn’t actually at the store.

The barista returned a short time later with a steaming mug with a pretty leaf designed in the foam, it brought a smile to Elain’s face.

“Beautiful! Here you go,” Elain said as she handed her money towards the woman.

“Oh, no need. Someone else paid for it,” the barista said and winked at Elain. Confused as to who would want to buy her a drink, she asked the barista, who pointed over her shoulder at a very handsome man in a faded leather jacket and tight, dark jeans and heavy boots.

“Oh,” was all Elain could say. She stared at the profile of the man, and when she turned back to ask the barista who he was, she was gone.

Two women were sitting at a table in close proximity to Elain. They looked like college students, with their book bags and University hoodies and hats. One of them leaned over towards Elain and whispered, “he’s a regular here, half the university is in love with him. Names Ez, or Az, or Jazz or something like that, I’m not exactly sure, but he’s never paid for someone else’s drink before! I think you have an admirer,” she sashayed at Elain.

Dumbfounded, Elain blushed scarlet, she could feel her cheeks heat up. “Oh, that’s very kind of him, but I doubt it,” Elain responded as she took in her old hoodie and plain leggings that were two sizes too big on her.

“Whatever you say, girl, but if a man like that bought me coffee, I’d be praising the gods,” she laughed, “I come in here several times a week silently praying he’ll hit on me!”

Elain courteously smiled at the two girls who were laughing together before they went back to their studying. She stole another quick glance at the stranger who bought her coffee before looking down and taking her first sip. It was like heaven, so much better than that tasteless, bitter, black coffee they serve for breakfast at the estate.

Her gaze roamed around the shop as she sipped her coffee, she looked out the window as snow fell and college students walked quickly towards the campus and mothers hastily packed children in SUVs after Christmas shopping. However, she kept finding herself pulling her eyes away from the man at the counter. He, too, sipped a mug of something while he typed away on his laptop and jotted down notes on a piece of paper. He was extremely focused on what he was doing, Elain noted, probably a college student then. She also couldn’t help but notice he was extremely handsome, if in a mysterious kind of way.

By the time she finished her drink, she sat a bit longer, still people watching and enjoying her brief time of freedom. The two girls at the table next to her were long gone. Gathering her bag, she got up and made her way towards the front door, when on second thought, she turned and walked back towards the man.

“Um, excuse me,” she said in a quiet voice.

The man pulled out the headphones he was wearing and turned his eyes towards Elain. She was met with the most intense, dark eyes she had ever seen. Briefly, it felt as though the breath was knocked out of her lungs. When the stranger caught sight of Elain and he recognized her as the woman he'd bought coffee for, he gave her a slight smile, showing just the hint of straight, white teeth.

“I – ah – I just wanted to thank you for buying my coffee earlier, that was so kind of you.”

“Oh, of course, it was no problem,” he spoke back to her smoothly, confidently. His voice, low and rich, shocked her - rattled her bones. It reminded her of dark chocolate. If she closed her eyes and focused, she could probably taste the sweet smoothness in her mouth.

Feeling a bit awkward, Elain drew a tight smile towards him, and began to turn back towards the front door.

“I’m Azriel, by the way,” he added, sticking out a hand for Elain to shake, “everyone calls me Az.”

The too-big sweatshirt was swallowing her whole as she tried to free her hand of the sleeves. She felt so embarrassed trying to shake the sleeve away so she could properly shake his hand.

“Elain,” she replied, finally freeing herself.

He gave her a chuckle as he released her hand. “Well Elain, would you care to sit down, I was just about to order another coffee, would you like one?”

“Oh, I don’t want to bother you, you look like your very busy. I should get going anyways.”

He looked a little hurt, but hid it well. “If you say so, it was nice meeting you, Elain.”

She nodded in agreement before walking out the door.

***

Azriel

Azriel could not believe the woman he just met was real. Admittedly, she looked a bit worse-for-wear, but Az knew beauty when he saw it, and he had never seen someone so beautiful as she. He felt like he stared after her for a solid five minutes before dragging his attention back to his laptop.

“Hey, Cerr,” he said to his employee, “you know who that girl was?”

“Nope, never seen her before,” the dark-skinned barista answered before going back to clean shot glasses.

“Damn it,” Az muttered under his breath as he looked back towards the front door. He debating running out after her, but figured too much time had already past and she was probably already gone.

She seemed so lost, and he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his gut telling him that he knew her from somewhere. Or that they had met before, and Cerridwen told him that she’d never been in his coffee shop before, and surely he would have remembered a face like hers.

It was like that all day. After he had completed the inventory for Daily Dose, he had a few emails to respond to before he left the café to go meet his brothers at Rhys’ place.

  
***

Elain

Elain drove the long way home. She finally turned onto the road that led to the manor house, but upon reaching the massive wrote-iron gate, she decided to keep driving. She drove and drove and drove, knowing it would do her no good, but knowing in her heart she was not ready to face what would surely be waiting for her at home. _Who_ would be waiting for her at home.

There was a time, months ago that she would be racing back to be with Graysen. He often goes on business trips with his father, and he did back then, too. Elain would miss him terribly while he was gone, and they would text and video call any second Gray wasn’t actively in a meeting. He would always bring her something back from his travels. Sometimes it would be as simple as a flower native to the location he was visiting, sometimes it would be as extravagant as a beautifully custom-tailored gown made to fit her like a glove, and she would wear it to dinner with him the night he returned home, and they would have an amazing night together.

Eventually, the gifts stopped altogether, and the calls and texts came less and less, and the demands grew more and more. Graysen started leaving clipped notes for Elain while he was away, things like: _don’t leave the grounds while I’m out, do not speak to the male house staff, keep your phone on you at all times,_ even though he never called. Sometimes, Elain wouldn’t even know that Graysen was leaving until the morning of.

Now, she knew that he would be angry at her for leaving the house to go to the “store.” He’d been blowing up her phone since the moment he hung up on her earlier that afternoon. Elain looked down at her phone to check the time, 4:37 p.m., along with sixteen texts and three missed calls from Gray. The newest one from just a minute ago.

**Gray, 4:33 p.m.,** _Elain, I will not tell you again. Return to the estate immediately._

Wincing, she turned around in a stone drive, and made her way back to the estate.

Graysen was waiting for her in the entryway of the estate. He must have been waiting for her on one of the pairs of intricately-made chairs that looked like thrones, but stood up the moment she twisted the doorknob. She stood in the threshold of the doorway, the biting cold at her back from the dry flurries outside, and shrunk herself down as she watched Graysen reach her in three long strides. Upon reaching her, he grabbed her cheeks, mouth, and chin all in one large paw, and pressed a forcefully strong kiss to her mouth that had her bending backward. She tasted expensive liquor on his breath. She had tears building up behind her closed eyelids already. _Do not let them fall, do not let them slip, he likes when that happens,_ she chanted in her head.

“Hello, _Laney_ ,” he spat the nickname her sisters gave her when they were children. He said that the name “Laney” sounded immature, and he nearly has an aneurism anytime Feyre calls her “Lane” in his presence. “Lane is too masculine a name,” he would say, “and I will not be with someone who is unladylike,” he scolded her in private. She would tell him that she would please ask Feyre not to call her that anymore.

“Enjoy your little day-trip, did we,” he asked, talking down to her, bringing her back to the present. Elain tried to free her face from his grip, but he just squeezed harder. She could feel her teeth biting into her bottom lip, but could do nothing to stop it. She opened her watery eyes to look at him. She tasted blood.

“You’ve finally returned, I’m so glad you’re home, my dear Laney, I’ve missed you so,” he slurred, reaching her wrist with his other hand he began tugging her body closer to his. He pressed another kiss to her lips, this one not as hard, but wet and sloppy.

“Come with me, dear Laney, we have much to catch up on,” he said to her. All at once he released her, she nearly crumpled in on herself, but kept her knees from giving out. Graysen turned his back to her, and began to stumble up the twisting staircase to the upper levels. She knew it would be of no use to refuse him, so she straightened up and wordlessly followed him.

Just before she took her first step up, she caught the eyes of one of the maid-servants standing in a shadowy corner of the foyer. She must have heard their whole altercation but didn’t want to impose or walkthrough, so she must have just stood there waiting for Graysen to finish. The maid looked at Elain with sad eyes, Elain was so humiliated, to be embarrassed in front of the staff, she let a tear fall, and took the first step up the stairs.


	3. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implies rape/non-consent

**Chapter Three**   
**Recovery**

Azriel 

Azriel met his brothers at Rhys’ house. Feyre was there, but was holed up in her studio working on a new painting, and Nesta was working late at the hospital, so it was just the guys tonight.

Rhys and Cassian sat on the worn leather sofa absentmindedly watching a football game while Az sat backward at the bar facing the television.

“Earth to Az,” Cassian said to him, finally drawing his attention back to his brothers, “we’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes, bro.”

“Shit, sorry, little distracted,” was Azriel’s weak response.

“What’s on your mind,” Rhys asked him as he and Cassian got up from the couch and walked the short distance back to the bar.

Az rubbed the back of his neck, debating on whether it was even worth bringing up to his brothers or not. He would probably never see the girl again anyways. Coming to this realization, he said, “oh, it’s nothing.”

“I call bullshit,” Cassian shouted at the same time Rhys said, “yeah, right.”

Scoffing, Az finally admitted, “alright, alright, so I met this girl today. But it’s nothing - I barely said two words to her.”

Suddenly, both his brothers were serious again. They didn’t mess around when it came to love interests. Especially when it came to Azriel’s potential love interests. “Did you get her name,” Cassian asked as he pulled out his smartphone, undoubtedly to do some serious Facebook investigating.

Rhys asked, “phone number? Would we know her? What does she look like?”

“Calm down, she was at the shop today. I paid for her coffee, and she came up to me before she left to thank me, that’s when I got her name… but nothing more. I even went as far to ask Cerr if she’d been in before, but she’d never seen her,” he trailed off as he finished.

“Woah, man, this is some serious shit,” Cassian said, “your eyes got all dreamy-looking when you talked about her.”

Az laughed, but realized his brother was probably right. He hardly ever got caught up on a woman. He’d had it pretty easy in the lady department, and when he got rejected, though it happened rarely, he didn’t take it personally. He’d probably never had a conversation like the one he’s having now with his brothers, he realized.

He just shrugged his shoulders, “thing is, I don’t even know what it was about her. I mean, I didn’t even really check her out, she just looked so sad and innocent, and just… pure.” He laughed again as he stumbled over his words, “I’m making no sense,” he said as he covered his face with his hands.

“You got it bad, brother,” Cassian said to him as he whistled through his teeth.

“Her name is Elain, that’s all I got. I kept getting this feeling like I knew her from somewhere somehow; like maybe I’d met her before. But I’ve been thinking about it all day and have no idea…”

Cassian, shamelessly typing away on his iPhone, was entering the name ‘Elain’ into every social media site known to man, alas, to no avail.

“I’m not getting anything,” he grumbled as Az sighed and rubbed his temples.

“It’s alright Cass, it was a long shot. Who knows, maybe I’ll see her in the shop again soon,” Azriel said trying to be hopeful.

“Sucks, though. I’ll keep checking,” Cassian said.

“We could always just print out “HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN” flyers, you know, go the whole nine yards, pin them up all over the city.” Rhys said with a smirk.

Azriel let out a low laugh and punched him in the shoulder, and just like that, they were back to their brotherly banter.

***  
 **TW: Implies rape/non-consent**

The next day, after the horrible night Graysen got home, Elain remained in her rooms. As a matter of fact, she remained in her bed. The whole day.

Maids and other house-staff brought her meals three times a day. Distantly, Elain noticed her phone ring, but she couldn’t pull her eyes from the wall. Before she knew it, the day had fallen into night. Seeing no point to start her day this late, she remained in bed, and didn’t sleep.

On the second day after Graysen’s return, Elain woke, desperately needing to use the bathroom. She relieved herself, and went to stare at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She was still wearing the tattered, torn clothes from the night of Graysen’s assault. There was dried blood on the collar of her oversized sweatshirt, and snot stains on the cuffs of her sleeves from where she’d rubbed her nose after she cried herself to sleep. She was not wearing any underwear, or pants, Graysen had rid her of those almost the moment she’d reached the landing of the third floor, where their rooms were. She had one remaining sock on, a white ankle sock, yellowed on the bottom from her shoes or dirt or something else.

Elain brushed the rancid taste out of her mouth, finger-combed her hair, and decided a shower might do her some good. She turned the knobs on so she would have warm water while she undressed. Elain tore off the sweatshirt, and the simple tee-shirt that was under it. She pulled her only sock from her foot, and finally unclasped her too-large bra. She stood, naked, in front of the body mirror in her bathroom while the steam from her shower fogged it.

It had seemed like she’d shrunk. Her hair still laid thick around her shoulders, and curled down to her waist. It was thinner now, but still had some volume, even though it was lanky and dry. Every one of her bones jutted out at odd angles. Her collar bones looked like knives protruding from her torso. Her knees looked like a pile of stones with skin stretched over them. Her hip bones jutted out in an obscene horror. Her eyes and cheeks were sunken and hollow, pale and purple. Her fingers and wrists were withered, bruised, almost skeletal. At her throat, a purple and red blob from Graysen’s greedy mouth. Further down on her chest, bite marks from his greedy teeth. And further down more, a sore tenderness, on the inside, from his greedy –

She choked on a sob. Elain hadn’t even realized she’d begun crying. Staring at herself in the mirror she wondered how she’d gotten to this point; to the point where even looking at herself in the mirror brings tears to her eyes. She hastily swung open the shower door, relished in the burn of the water her skin wasn’t yet used to, and she sunk down onto the shower floor and cried while the water washed over her, mixing with her tears.

***

A week had gone by and Elain hardly left her rooms. The maids took care of her. Hannah brought her meals every day, and though the house-staff wasn’t permitted to speak without warrant, her eyes begged to ask if she was okay. Elain tried to look reassuring, to quell the worry in her eyes, to answer the unspoken question.

Her bruises had faded for the most part. The only ones that remained were the three yellowish-colored ones on her jawline from where Graysen’s fingers had dug into her skin. She had not checked her phone since she was on her way home from the coffee shop. It had lost its battery long ago. Knowing that if she didn’t get back to her sisters, who have undoubtedly texted her a million times, they would call the authorities, or worse, come to the estate.

Sure enough, by the time she plugged it in and it powered back on she had 86 text messages and 41 missed calls between her sisters. Not even bothering to check what they said, she deleted them all, and sent a group text to the both of them.

**Elain, 9:26 am.,** _Hey! All is good here, sorry it took me so long to get back to you… got busy with Grayson’s return. Xx._

**Feyre, 9:26 am.,** _don’t u “Xx” bullshit me, Lane!! Where have u been?? Did that fucker make u upset again????_

**Nesta, 9:27 am.,** _Feyre… Jesus. Elain, glad you are well. Could we come visit anytime soon? I’m thinking ravioli for dinner, we’d love you to come._

**Feyre, 9;27 am.,** _I swear I will dropkick that motherfucker in2 next week, Laney. just say the word. just say the word._

 **Elain, 9:29 am.** , _Feyre, you can stop threatening Grayson anytime now… I said I was fine. Nes, I wish I could make it but Grayson and I already have dinner arrangements for tonight. I have to go, I think I am going to tidy up my greenhouse. Kisses._

**Feyre, 9:29 am.,** _fine, but just know the offer still stands… luv you 2._

**Nesta, 9:30 am.,** _As you say. Feyre, you need to work on your language. Nevertheless, I love you both._

Elain felt guilty for lying to her sisters about the greenhouse. She had no intention of ever going near the greenhouse, but it seemed to have done the trick to keeping her sisters off of her back for now.

She put her phone down and sat with her legs folded under her and looked out the window. Everything was brown, and bare, with just the lightest of dusting from the snow that had fallen the day before. It was overcast, and Elain could tell by the trees swaying that it was windy.

Her gaze roamed around her room. She had empty flower pots on the window sill, but other than that nothing was out of place. The maids took care of it every day, physically working around Elain who refused to get out of bed even to let them change the sheets. They put her clothes away, even though all she ever wore these days was pajamas. Leggings and a hoodie if she planned on leaving her room, but mostly p.j.’s.

She wished she could have a friend. Someone who wasn’t so overbearing and obviously worried like her sisters were. Someone who she could talk to without being judged or told what to do in response. Someone she could talk to about things other than her home life and Graysen. The maids were out of the question; they wouldn’t risk losing their jobs for Elain. Which, she held no resentment towards them for it. Nolan paid his staff handsomely, anyone who disobeyed his rules was fired, Elain wasn’t upset with them for just doing their jobs.

Elain thought that if she were still going to University she would have made some friends, even though she wasn’t living on campus, surely she could have befriended someone from her classes. She was studying business and botany when she met Graysen, after dating for five months he had convinced her to drop out. They’d been together for a year now.

Elain missed the University, she missed being around all the people her own age and all the differences among them. She liked meeting strangers and she loved learning new things in her classes. At the time, she just thought she loved Graysen _more_.

Now, sitting here alone in her empty room, she was beginning to have regrets. What if she would have stayed in school? What if she had never met Grayson? What if she left Grayson now to go back to school? _Oh no_ , she chided herself, these are dangerous thoughts. Even just thinking them in her mind, her eyes darted towards the door, worried Graysen somehow knew what she was thinking and was coming to “talk” some sense into her.

After reassuring herself that there was no way Graysen could know what she was thinking, she let her eyes roam back around her room. She knew that Graysen wasn’t perfect, and he didn’t always treat her right, but eventually things would go back to normal. The way they were when Elain had first met Graysen. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized that of their year together, most of it had been in misery. Only the first few months were amazing, after that things started to go downhill. In just five months of being with Graysen he had convinced her to quit University. In seven months she had stopped gardening. At eight months was the first time he had laid a hand to her. And at ten months he had forced himself in her. And the latest two months had been the worst in her entire life. Worse than being dirt poor, orphaned, and alone. She didn’t know what she would do now. She was still alone, but at least back then she had her sisters to share her misery with. Now that the both of them had found happiness, she couldn’t drag them into her troubles.

And Elain knew, without a doubt, that not all men were like Graysen. Cassian and Rhysand were two of the most caring men she had ever known. Even though she’d only ever met them briefly in passing, she knew by the way her sisters talked about them and how they acted, they were so much happier because of them. Even the stranger who had bought Elain’s coffee the other week had shown her more kindness than Graysen had in six months.

The man who had bought Elain’s coffee… she had not thought about him again until just now. It was so strange, so surreal, to have someone act kindly towards her other than her sisters. She had almost forgotten what that was like. And the female students who were in the coffee shop, they told Elain that he never bought someone else their coffee before, Elain felt herself blush. She caught herself with a small smile on her face, before the guilt washed it away. How could she be thinking of another man, no matter how innocent, when she had Graysen.

Suddenly, a quick rasp was at her door, her heart jumped into her throat. The maids were there only thirty minutes ago to take her laundry; it couldn’t be them so soon.

“Come in,” she whispered.

Graysen opened the door but did not enter. Rather instead he stood in the doorway dressed immaculately in a navy suit, looking down at his phone, without looking up at her he said, “I’m leaving for New York, I’ll be gone nine days.”

Elain nodded along, processing what he was saying. Realizing he couldn’t hear her nod, she simply said: “okay.”

Graysen finally flicked his eyes upwards towards her, and with a look of disgust he said, “while I’m gone, do something with yourself, would you?”

Elain, embarrassed looked down at her hands in her lap while Graysen strolled out.


	4. Another Visit

**Chapter Four**   
**Another Visit**

Azriel

Azriel didn’t always work in his café, mostly he could work from home, only stopping down once or twice a week to check on things as need be. But the days since he had met Elain he’d been in nearly every day. It had been nine days, not that he was keeping track or anything, and he was starting to lose hope that she’d ever return, but by coming into the shop every day, he’d come to realize he liked being there. Cerridwen and her sister, Nuala, practically ran the shop, only coming to him when absolutely necessary.

Azriel usually worked from his apartment across the street, above the empty shop there. He preferred to be alone in that way, but since pathetically waiting around for Elain to return like a lost puppy, he realized that being closer to work and getting to know his employees more, had a positive reflection on his mood.

He was sitting at the bar-styled counter with his laptop open working on some promotions for the shop when he heard the door chime followed by Nuala’s wispy: “Hello, welcome in.”

Without looking up, he noticed Nuala walk around the counter separating customers from employees and walk over to the new guest, out of the corner of her mouth she whispered “Az, it’s your girl,” as she passed by.

Immediately his palms grew moist with nervous sweat and he swallowed, his mouth dry. He turned towards Elain, sitting once again in her corner booth facing out the window. He watched as she made eye-contact with Nuala and placed her order. She looked so lovely, but so small. Like a wounded animal. Today, her hair was down, and it flowed in big bouncing waves almost to her waist. She wore leggings with sneakers, and a long-sleeve white shirt with a green, coat with fake fur around the hood. The coat seemed to almost swallow her up, and he chuckled to himself as he remembered the way her sweatshirt did the first time they’d met.

Nuala turned, having took her order and headed back towards the counter to make her drink. As she turned, Elain’s large doe-eyes found Azriel’s, and she blushed the most adorable peachy shade, Azriel had to look away to hide his own.

“Want me to ring it in, boss, or you’ve got it,” Nuala asked him with a knowing smirk.

“Very funny,” Azriel deadpanned, “how do I look?”

“Like a god,” Nuala replied without hesitation, and without actually looking up from where she was wiping coffee grounds from the counter.

“That’s what I pay you for,” he joked, reaching his scarred hands out for the latte Nuala had just poured, Azriel said, “give me that, I’ll take it over.”

Nuala raised her dark eyebrows, but handed the cup over. “Go get her, tiger,” and she winked.

As he walked towards her, Elain’s gaze never left the window outside. He watched her as she watched all the people outside, or the snow, or whatever it was she was looking at as he made his way over to her.

“Here you are, Elain,” he said with a smile as he sat her cup down. She had nearly jumped out of her skin when he spoke. He raised his hands quickly in an innocent gesture. Her eyes were as big as saucers when she snapped her attention to him. She placed a hand over her chest and when recognition hit her, she closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to get her breathing and heart rate normal once more.

He chucked lowly as she said, “you nearly gave me a heart attack! Anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people,” she asked still with her eyes closed.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention,” his laughter melted away into awe at how beautiful she looked, with her cheeks flushed and her eyes still closed, mouth slightly parted.

He realized he was staring at her mouth when she finally opened her eyes and whatever she was going to say, fell off her lips at the look on Azriel’s face.

Trying to regain some dignity and composure, he asked with a smirk, “let me make it up to you?”

She hesitated, not knowing what to say or whether or not to trust his intentions. Finally, she said, “and how do you suppose you’d do that?”

Azriel didn’t think she was purposely flirting with him, by giving him such a clear, perfect opportunity for an innuendo. Deciding to remain chivalrous, he said “let me pay this,” gesturing towards her latte he set down moments before.

“Oh you don’t have to do that, I _do_ have money, you know,” Elain said, shyly smiling up at him.

Azriel felt awkward then, still standing - he didn’t want to crowd her; after all it seemed like she came to the shop for some peace and quiet.

He decided to just smile and leave her to it, “it’s okay,” he said, “really I don’t mind, I’ll leave you to it then.” Throughout their brief conversation Elain smiled pleasantly up at him, but he wasn’t picking up any possibilities of interest from her, so feeling a bit turned down, pride hurt, he stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets and turned to go back towards the bar where he was working, leaving Elain to enjoy her latte.

“Would you like to sit down,” she squeaked from her little corner booth. Had Azriel not been so perceptive, or had his senses not been so peaked around her, he was sure he wouldn’t have heard her small voice.

Smiling, he turned back around and said “I would love to.”

***

Elain

Elain wasn’t sure what overcame her to ask this stranger to join her. Especially so out in the open in this corner window. She knew that Graysen was out of town, but that didn’t mean one of his friends or employees or business partners wouldn’t see her sitting with another man, surely they would get the wrong idea and tell on her. But something about Azriel intrigued her, she felt a pull towards him, she wouldn’t lie to herself to try to convince herself otherwise. She must have just wanted to find out what it was that called to her.

With someone who has dealt with the abuse and mistreatment from Graysen and his father, she imagined she would be less trusting, especially with strangers and _especially_ with men; but here she was, much to her disbelief, sitting in a coffee shop, talking to a man, having a nice time. A very handsome, muscular man, nonetheless. It seemed so normal. Such normalcy sent a shockwave of excitement through her, she couldn’t keep herself from smiling shyly.

Azriel sat down, across from her and leaned back against the booth back, hands still stuck in his pockets. Elain wrapped her frail fingers around her mug, letting the warmth seep into her.

They went through the small talk pleasantries. He asked her what brought her in today, and she told him she liked the guilty pleasures of buying herself a nice latte every once in a while, “even though, you’ve been keeping me from _actually_ _buying_ the latte,” she joked.

“Sorry, sorry,” Azriel shrugged with a smirk. Elain got the sense that he wasn’t in the least bit apologetic, but she figured there were worse things. “It’s really no problem at all Elain, we have extra grounds lying around so often, a lot of it goes to waste, there’s really no trouble in giving it to you.”

Elain hesitated, “what do you mean ‘we’?”

Azriel ran a scarred hand over the back of his neck, she made mental note not to look too closely at it, he looked sheepish, “uh, this is my shop. I meant myself and my employees.”

Elain was so surprised, “you _own_ this shop,” she squealed.

Azriel nodded, looking back up to her from across the table. “Oh my gosh, this is my favorite coffee shop in the whole city! I had no idea, is that what you’re always working on at the counter?”

“Yeah, inventory and promotions and what not,” Azriel told her. Her excitement made something in his chest twist, he figured it was his heart that was now in the palm of her hand. They talked a little bit about what it was like to run his own business and she asked about how Daily Dose was doing, if it was successful or not. It opened up the topic to what they did for a living.

Azriel asked, finally when they were finished talking about Daily Dose, “so, what do you do?”

Elain felt the smile get pulled from her face and turn into a frown. She was embarrassed to say that she did nothing, was worth nothing, was contributing nothing of herself. Azriel seemed to pick up on her sudden mood change, but didn’t seem to know how to steer the conversation back to safer topics.

“I actually don’t do anything,” Elain whispered, looking down into her empty coffee mug. She saw no point in lying to him, if she would have told him that she was a student, he would’ve asked about her classes or her major. If she lied about already having a job, he would’ve politely asked about that too, and Elain wasn’t a good liar, she couldn’t keep the lies straight if she had. She’d slip up somehow, and though Elain was a lot of things, a liar wasn’t one of them.

Besides, it’s probably better this way, to let him see how worthless she was. She doubted they would ever talk again after this day, and though this altercation was short-lived, she was grateful for it while it lasted. Her reality seemed to come back to her, knowing soon she would return to the estate, and she’d be met with empty halls and loneliness. She was playing at fantasy right now, and it was bittersweet.

Azriel was about to say something, probably some pitiful excuse to why Elain didn’t do anything, he’d pretend to think it’s alright, but Elain decided to excuse herself before he had the chance.

She smiled sadly at him, and excused herself to the restroom near the back of the building. She didn’t need to go, but needed to get away from that conversation. She looked herself over in the mirror after she’d washed her hands. Her hair was lanky and dull, her eyes looked sunken and sad, but at least the bruises were gone.

When she began to make her way back towards the booth where Azriel was still sitting, the pretty, dark-skinned barista was standing there talking quietly to him. She had Elain’s empty mug cradling in her hands, and was looking down at Azriel while he spoke quickly.

When he noticed her coming back towards them, he said, “Nuala just came by to see if you needed a refill,” he looked hopefully towards her, and it made her sad.

“Actually I’d better get going,” she excused herself. She didn’t sit down but instead remained standing a few paces away from Azriel and the barista who was still standing there, smiling pleasantly, welcomingly.

Azriel stood then, “do you want me to walk you out to your car,” he asked politely. She couldn’t help but notice how tall he was, the barista was taller than herself, and still, he towered over her. Elain could tell he was thinking of all the ways he could extend their time together, but it was unnecessary, she could practically see the cogs working in his head. He was reaching and she knew it. This was not a dangerous part of the city by any standard, and it was late morning. The possibilities of something happening to her in the short walk out to her car were slim to none; besides, there were much worse dangers waiting for her at home at the estate.

Instead of answering him, she just thanked him once again for the coffee. And with melancholy in her heart, she quickly made her way towards the exit, out into the biting cold, and away from the handsome and kind shop owner.

***

Azriel

Azriel wasn’t sure what he’d said or done to chase her off, but he had the sinking feeling in his gut that spooking her off is exactly what he’d done, and he hated himself for it.

Turning to Nuala, who must have been watching him as he looked out the front window long after Elain had passed it on her way out, he asked her, “what did I say?”

Nuala just looked at him pitifully as she wrapped an arm over his shoulders and gestured him back towards the counter, “c’mon boss, let’s get you a drink, yeah?”

Although he didn’t say it out loud, it remained unspoken between them, but they both knew that the likeliness they’d ever see Elain again was nonexistent.


	5. Planning Committee

**Chapter Five**   
**Planning Committee**

Elain

It was another week before Elain saw her sisters again. They hardly ever came to the estate unless Graysen was out of town, but Feyre’s birthday was in two weeks and they wanted to plan something for her together. Graysen remained in his study when Nesta and Feyre arrived, much to everyone’s glee.

Elain was wearing a baggy cream-colored turtle-neck sweater with an over-sized collar and sleeves, black leggings that looked more like sweatpants than the tight material they were supposed to be, and fuzzy socks. She hoped it gave the illusion of cozy comfort, rather than the mask she was wearing it as to hide the dark bruises around her upper arms and wrists from where Gray had held her down with way too much force the night before.

She had showered that morning and braided half of her hair up. It was as decent she was going to look in her condition, she just hoped it was enough to not warrant any health-related questions from her sisters.

She waited for Nesta and Feyre in the foyer, and when they arrived she hugged them both, and for the first time since she sat with Azriel in the coffee shop, she found herself genuinely smiling.

Feyre gave her a quick one-armed hug as she hastily headed towards the stairs to go to Elain’s sitting room attached to her bedroom, lugging along a canvas bag slung over one shoulder. She chucked as Feyre said back to them “chop-chop, lots to plan, lots to do, this party is going to be epic!”

Nesta laughed as she enveloped Elain in a more formal hug. With her head near Elain’s shoulders, she whispered, “I wish you weren’t so thin, Laney.”

Elain was embarrassed, but just shrugged and headed to follow Feyre upstairs.

Feyre had already made herself comfortable by the time Nesta and Elain reached the sitting room. Feyre had paper and pens strewn about the glass coffee table, making herself quite at home.

“Oh, do make yourself comfortable, Feyre,” Elain said in mock offense.

Feyre shot up her middle finger without looking at Elain, seeming to be looking for one piece of paper in particular.

Elain and Nesta were laughing as they sat down. Elain offered them something to drink but both of her sisters declined.

Feyre was turning 22 this year, and was determined to have a massive party to celebrate. Elain could understand her desire, in their years growing up none of them were ever properly celebrated. Even so when their father left them and they were practically orphans, all they ever could afford was a box cake and a few candles. This was the first time any of them were really in a position to throw a huge and expensive party, and from the looks of the papers and notes on the table, that was exactly what Feyre was planning to do.

“Okay, so Elain I need you to put stamps on all the invitations, here they are,” and Feyre flung a huge stack of parchment into Elain’s not-outstretched arms. Envelopes artistically addressed in Feyre's beautiful scroll. She continued ordering Nesta next, “Nes, here I need you to make a kick-ass playlist and go over my guest list one more time.” Nesta nodded while opening a laptop Feyre had brought with her.

Elain began absentmindedly placing stamps on the corners of each envelope. Meanwhile, Feyre seemed to be sketching decoration ideas, or potential paintings for her and Rhys’s shared apartment, Elain wasn’t sure so early in Feyre’s process.

It was something Elain had quickly learned over the years. When Feyre was really inspired, or anytime she had a new idea, she would scribble it onto a piece of paper and would excitedly try to explain it to her and Nesta; but neither of them could ever see what Feyre’s vision was. Elain always just said that Feyre was the only one with an eye for the arts. In the end though, the finished product of Feyre’s work was always jaw-dropping.

While they planned they talked and laughed. Nesta told them about some of the patients who came into the hospital she worked at. “You would not _believe_ what these people have done to get them so hurt, I mean, really…”

And Feyre would tell them about a new artist they were having featured at the museum, or a commission she was paid to do for some rich snob. Elain found it all so entertaining.

By the time they were finished, Feyre had 53 stamped invitations, decoration ideas for her apartment, an order placed for two hundred balloons, and one kick-ass playlist for her party. Feyre had gone over what she was going to wear, and what she wanted for gifts. She also put together some much neater sketches of her apartment and showed Nesta and Elain what was going where and who was doing what. Feyre and Nesta were going to the party store next weekend to get streamers and plastic dinnerware and punch bowls. Elain was invited and encouraged to come along, but she kindly declined.

All in all, it seemed like they had a great plan for the party and Feyre was positively beaming with excitement, it was infectious.

***

Azriel

Azriel got his invitation in the mail three days later. He didn’t see the point in paying for a postage stamp when he already knew the details of Feyre’s party, but whatever. He was pleased to find out that Nuala and Cerridwen also got invitations in the mail, as he had found out one morning in Daily Dose. He appreciated Feyre for thinking of them.

The next night when he was having dinner at Rhys’s and Feyre’s apartment along with Cassian and Nesta, Feyre asked him, “so Az, you gonna bring that pretty girl from the coffee shop that I’ve been hearing so much about,” batting her eyelashes at him.

Az shot daggers at Rhys. _Traitor_.

When he replied to Feyre, though, he tried to keep his cool, “I’ll probably just go solo, or with Nuala and Cerr.”

“Well you can’t go with Nuala, she’s meeting up with Morr,” Feyre said in a suggestive tone, wagging her eyebrows. Az scoffed, “and you are Cerr aren’t interested in one-another I thought?”

“We’re not, but we could go as friends, who knows though, maybe she’ll bring someone of her own and I’ll just go stag.”

Feyre shrugged, and turned her attention to Rhys and her sister. Admittedly, Az had been kind of an ass the past week since not seeing Elain again. He knew he was sulking, and needed to get over his brooding, but at the same time, he couldn’t help it. Maybe he’d meet some single lady at Feyre’s party and she’d make him forget all about the pretty brunette with big doe-eyes and a love for white mocha lattes… _Jesus, get a grip of yourself,_ Az chided himself.


	6. Pre-Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Sexual abuse

**Chapter Six**   
**Pre-Party**   
**TW: Sexual abuse**

Elain

Feyre’s party was tomorrow night. Graysen knew about it and said he would attend with Elain, but that they weren’t staying late. She expected as much. And although she knew that Graysen would most likely put a damper on her evening celebrating Feyre, she was still excited. She couldn’t wait for a night out or to get all dressed up and to just have fun. Things between her and Gray were going as well as could be expected. He hadn’t forced himself on her or hit her since before she met with Nesta and Feyre.

Elain was in her rooms, debating on what to wear to Feyre’s party. She had some new dresses she hadn’t gotten the chance to wear yet. Christmas gifts from Graysen, still with the tags on. Most of them were so prudish, but he liked for her to be covered. _His little secret_ , he’d said. She was debating between a plain silver one - and calling it silver was generous, it was more of a drab, grey color - and a long sleeve, sleek, navy blue one that looked like a cross between a nun’s robes and a flight attendant’s uniform.

Sighing, she put them both back into her wardrobe. She could ask to borrow something of Feyre’s or Nesta’s, though anything of Nesta’s was sure to be too big on her, she was much taller than Elain was. Feyre’s wardrobe was a horror, with lots of glitter and color and cutouts and sequins. Suddenly, she remembered the gift Nesta had given her for Christmas that year. She had kept it a secret from Graysen; for surely, he would not approve. It was in the back of her closet, in a black garment bag so neither he nor the maids would ever see it.

Shyly, as if it were a great secret, she unzipped the garment bag. It would most likely be a little loose on her, but what’s the difference.

It was a beautiful dress that stopped in the middle between her knees and her ankles. It was soft, cool colors: periwinkle and lavender, with soft, cool whites. It had tiny, intricate flowers sewn into it with beaded centers. It gave the illusion of a sleeveless dress, the torso looking like a tube-top, though it wasn’t; it had sheer, skin-toned long sleeves, the cuffs of which had beautiful, simple bands of rhinestones and beads that matched the centers of the flowers perfectly. Built-in bracelets. If she were to wear it, the top would hug her waist, and push up her small breasts, and at the waistline, it would flare out, and fall in layers down past her knees.

She ogled at the dress some more, imagining how she would curl her hair and pin one side of it behind her ear, what shoes she would wear with it. But her fantasies were short-lived when she imagined Graysen standing next to her in it. He would never allow something that accentuated her curves so well, or one that displayed her cleavage so clearly.

In all honesty, it was a modest enough dress you could wear it to church without feeling exposed. The matter of the fact was it was just so downright _flattering_ , she knew Graysen would never allow her in public showing off so much.

She zipped the bag back up, and closed her closet door to head back to her wardrobe where she was leaning more towards the navy, prudish dress when a clipped knock rasped at her door.

Graysen opened the cracked door without her permission. This time he was dressed casually, in dark jeans and a white graphic t-shirt. He looked handsome, boyish even. She smiled at him.

“Elain, I need you to cancel our plans to attend Feyre’s party,” he spoke and she was immediately disheartened. She could tell there was at least some regret in his words, he knew how much she was looking forward to the party. “I’m sorry, but something pressing came up with the company, I have to take a last-minute flight out of state tonight.”

“But – but Gray, couldn’t – could I possibly go alone,” she asked him tentatively. The hardened look on his face had her hastily adding, “I can be dropped off and picked up by one of the staff, and I’ll only be there a short while! I swear! I’ll keep my phone on me, I won’t drink… I’ll - please,” she finally begged.

Graysen debated for a bit in the doorway.

He was chewing on his bottom lip in a way that made Elain nervous and shrink in on herself. It was his tell, when he chewed on his bottom lip it never ended well for her. He wasn’t looking at her, instead he was looking up towards the ceiling, though his gaze was out of focus. Suddenly, she was very nervous to be so close to him, and in her rooms with a large bed just a few feet away.

“Fine,” he ground out through clenched teeth.

Elain let out a sigh of relief, but when she noticed Graysen slowly stalking his way towards her in slow strides… and when he began fumbling with his belt buckle while doing it… she sucked in a breath.

“But just remember, _my dear_ , how generous I am in allowing you to do this. How _trusting_ , and _good_ I am.” He annunciated each word slowly, harshly. The buckle of his belt undone and hanging open. Now he was standing right in front of her, his hand came up to caress her cheek. “You wouldn’t do anything to lose my trust would you?”

She shook her head quickly.

Graysen tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Very good, my _pet_. Very good,” he said, absentmindedly. Suddenly, he looked down at her face, into her eyes, and very firmly he said, “you will be driven by Hannah, you will be picked up by Hannah. You will be home by eleven. You will call me when you return. You will not speak to, look at, or otherwise communicate in any way with another man. You will not drink alcohol. You will not have dessert if they are serving any. You will not do drugs. You will wear that navy dress. You will not dance. If I call, you are to answer. Do you understand?”

She nodded, looking at the floor.

“Do you understand?” He repeated. More forcefully this time.

“Yes, I do. Thank you for letting me go,” she whispered, and dared to look back up to his face.

“Very good,” he said once more. “And do you know what else you will do, _pet_ ,” he spat.

Elain searched her mind rapidly, not thinking of any other rule or command he would warrant her in this situation. Nervously, she shook her head slowly.

Graysen grinned a wicked, evil smile, leaning down to whisper into her ear he said, “you will feel me in you all night Elain, all through tonight, all day tomorrow, and into the following night. You won’t be able to move without being reminded where I’ve been and who you belong to. There won’t be an inch of you that isn’t marked, or claimed by me,” He sounded delightful that he was whispering this into her ear. A chill raked through her body at the implications of what was to come, soon. “Now, Elain, who do you belong to?”

She could feel the water pool into her eyes, and she didn’t even try to stop them from falling.

She swallowed a dry lump that had formed in the back of her throat. Steeling herself in slight preparation for what Graysen was about to do to her, she said, “I’m yours,” no louder than a whisper, “all yours.” And Graysen wrapped his hand in a fistful of her hair, and jerked her toward the bed, leaving the door to her rooms opened the whole time.

***

Azriel

  
Azriel thought about asking the pretty blond woman at the shop if she wanted to go to a party tomorrow night, but on second thought decided against it. He didn’t want to have to go through the fake formalities of introducing her to everyone and attending to her all throughout the evening. Also, she wasn’t who he wanted.

He thought of Elain often, almost bordering obsessive. Something about her rattled him, got through to him. He wasn’t one to let a lot of people close to him, he was closed off, only allowing a very select few to know him on a deeper level… But something about Elain made him want to dish out every horrid, vile memory from his past, every joyous and fond moment he’d had since meeting his brothers, and everything else in between.

Her soft nature and quiet voice were soothing to him, she was reserved in a way, like him, and he wanted to know why. He wanted to learn all her secrets, hear about all her memories – the good and the bad – and make more with her.

But, he’d only ever met her twice, had only really had one conversation with her. And he knew by the way she’d left the shop the last time, that he would likely never be seeing her again.

Sighing, he got up from the coffee bar, and closed up the shop accompanied by Cerridwen.


	7. The Party: Part One

**Chapter Seven**   
**The Party: Part One**   
**TW – Mentions of Abuse**

Elain

The next morning, Elain woke up with shooting pains throbbing directly into her skull, her fingertips, her wrists, everywhere.

She stumbled out of bed, naked, holding her head with both hands, and made it to the bathroom toilet where she wretched and dry heaved.

There was a polite knock on her bedroom door, but she couldn’t respond over her gagging hurls.

It was Hannah, the maid who usually assigned to Elain’s room and this section of the estate.

“Miss Archeron,” she called from the bedroom, but when she heard the sound of Elain’s heaving, she quickly pushed the bathroom door open and entered.

“Oh dear,” she let out, while draping a white towel over Elain’s bony shoulders. She grabbed masses of Elain’s hair and held them away from her face. Elain began to sob through bouts of heaving.

“There, there,” Hannah comforted, “it’s okay dear, let it out.” Elain just continued to dry heave and sob, eventually, her body decided it was done retching and she curled up on the floor of the bathroom with Hannah gently leaning over her, stroking her back, and dabbing at her eyes with the corner of the towel.

Elain looked at her hands, held tightly together in front of her chest, clasping the towel closed around her naked body. She could see purple bruises decorating her wrists, like bracelets, or handcuffs.

Hannah held her until she was still.

“Let’s get you cleaned up then,” she whispered as she hoisted Elain to her feet. Hannah’s arms reached out to steady Elain when she stood up, and when she was convinced she wouldn’t topple over, she turned slightly and began to draw a bath.

Elain, in a daze, turned to the sink where she avoided her reflection and she brushed her teeth. When she was done, her bath was ready. Hannah turned her back to allow some bit of privacy for Elain to enter, though it was pointless anyway, Hannah had already seen her in multiple states of undress. Sometimes when she helped Elain dress into tight corset-like dresses, and sometimes after Graysen was finished with her, and she was either too tired or too sore to move, Gray would call Hannah to clean her up and take her back to her own rooms.

Elain soaked in the bathtub, not really absorbing any of its warmth, while Hannah poured bucket after bucket over her head and washed her hair. Hannah washed Elain’s feet and legs, arms, hands, and armpits, all the while Elain sat limply, staring at the tiles. Hannah turned once more while Elain went through the motions of washing her genitals. Inhaling sharply when her touch sent a jolt of pain to her core. When she was finished Hannah turned back around, held out a towel for Elain to wrap herself in.

“If I may, miss Elain,” Hannah asked cautiously.

Elain was sat on her vanity chair, guided by Hannah’s soft hands, where she removed the towel from Elain’s hair and began brushing the wet strands out. Elain gave a weak nod of permission and Hannah opened her mouth to speak, but she snapped it shut almost immediately, not knowing how to say what she wanted.

“You may speak freely, Hannah,” Elain rasped out. Her voice was rough, presumably from screaming or shouting at Graysen, she wasn’t sure, she tended to block those memories out. Or maybe it was from her violent heaving from earlier this morning, she didn’t know.

“I hope you still plan to go to miss Feyre’s party tonight,” Hannah began, “I don’t mean to overstep, but I just wish to see you happy, and having fun the way a young girl like you should.”

Hannah wasn’t much older than Elain herself, but had the air about her that she was motherly. Perhaps when she wasn’t in the estate she had a house and children of her own to take care of. Or perhaps she was the eldest sister of many. She was maternal in that way that only experience of some sort warranted.

Elain didn’t speak, so Hannah went on, “he’s left now. Him and master Nolan, they left for the airport late last night. You know, you could…” She trailed off momentarily, Elain caught her eye in the reflection of the mirror. “If you wanted,” she began once more, “if you wanted to see your sisters longer this evening, I would tell them what they wanted to hear, despite what you wanted to do.”

“Hannah, you could lose your job, I won’t have you covering for me, though I thank you for it,” Elain said somberly.

Hannah nodded, and said, “I understand, however, the offer still stands. I am in charge of your transportation this evening, so whenever you want to leave, whenever you want to come back, I will make it happen,” she finished firmly.

Elain considered, while her hair was brushed, and even later when she was sitting down at her breakfast table, adamantly not eating the eggs and toast that was prepared for her. She supposed she could arrive earlier, at the very least, and help Feyre and Nesta set up for the party.

It was just that she didn’t feel like going anymore. She didn’t feel like doing anything. All she wanted to do, was to lie in her bed and forget all that has been happening to her. She didn’t know how much longer she could go on this way. Elain knew the longer she stayed with Graysen, the worse it would get. No longer did she hold hope that things would become better. Sometimes his ministrations got so bad, she wondered if she’d pass out from the pain, sometimes she worried that he would kill her.

But leaving him wasn’t something she could do either. Not really, anyways, not realistically. She had nothing to her name, other than her car, which Graysen and his father paid the insurance for. All that she had was given to her by Graysen, even the clothes on her back. She couldn’t burden Nesta or Feyre with taking care of her like some pathetic, helpless invalid.

Nesta took care of her for far too long, and Feyre was finally happy. Nesta was finally done with medical school and was enjoying her life with Cassian. The stress of working two jobs and going to school and starting out a new relationship with Cassian was finally over for her. Now Nesta had a stable environment, was receiving regular paychecks that took care of the bills, her student loans, and then some.

And Feyre, Feyre was too wild to care for her. She wouldn’t understand. Feyre wasn’t gentle like Nesta was. Feyre is all fury, no quiet, which is what Elain needs most of the time. Just quiet. Feyre would try to get her to go out in the world, see things, do something new, something exciting or daring; Elain would appreciate the effort, but she needs recovery, not to be thrown into something new and unknown.

So, she couldn’t leave Graysen. She would have nowhere to go. That, and she didn’t think Graysen would physically allow her to leave. She knew she would never be able to get away without a fight. It’s just whether or not she would be able to survive that fight, and she didn’t think she could.

She supposed, she should take advantage of the time away from Graysen she had now. She had a little bit of freedom, and Hannah she knew she could trust. Hannah wouldn’t tell on her for going out in the city, or staying out late while Graysen was gone. It’s not even like Elain did anything bad, sitting in a coffee shop, going on walks, and window shopping all the while, it was harmless.

Suddenly, Elain’s phone began to chime, pulling her out of her reverie and drawing her attention to the incoming call from Feyre.

“Hello, Feyre, happy birthday,” Elain answered, happily for once.

“Hey Lane, thanks, could you maybe come over early, I got way ahead of myself, nothing is going to be ready in time,” Feyre quickly asked. Elain could hear on the other end of the phone Feyre scrambling around with something, it sounded as if Elain was put on speakerphone, probably so Feyre could use her hands. In the background, she could just make out Nesta’s voice asking if something were in the right location Feyre wanted.

“No, no, on the other side… yeah there’s good,” Feyre said back into the phone. Elain chucked as she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” she answered.

“Okay, hey Nesta, _wait what?_ Lane you’re actually coming,” Feyre exclaimed excited and distracted.

“Yes, dear sister, I’ll see you in a few,” Elain was laughing as she hung up the phone.

Elain grabbed her phone charger from the nightstand, threw a few miscellaneous items in a tote bag, took her navy dress from the wardrobe, grabbed Feyre’s birthday gift, picked up her purse, and was just about to walk out the door when on second thought, she doubled back and grabbed the dress Nesta got her for Christmas.

“Hannah,” she called to nowhere in particular.

A few seconds later, Hannah’s round face popped out from one of the guest bedrooms down the hall, “I’m ready to go now,” she said pleasantly.

***

She was once again dressed in her normal attire, leggings, rubber, insulated boots, and a sweater of some sort. She kept pulling down the sleeves of her baggy sweater to cover the bruises there. She made a mental note to use some of Nesta’s high-quality concealer once she met her sisters.

She looked out the window as Hannah drove the fifteen minutes to Feyre’s apartment with Rhys. It was closer to the campus, in the heart of the city, whereas Graysen’s estate sat on the outskirts where there was more land property.

Hannah pulled around the luxury apartment complex, reminded Elain that all she needed to do was call, and she’d be right there to pick her back up, no matter what time. Elain gave her sincere thanks and headed up to Feyre’s floor.

She spent the next two hours hanging streamers, filling punch bowls, and blowing up so many balloons she thought that she’d faint. She had to admit though, the end result was pretty “epic,” as Feyre would say.

Feyre forced Rhysand out of the apartment promptly when Elain got there, he offered to stay and help but, “no, we need proper girl time before the party, and you couldn’t decorate a room to save your life, out with you,” she told him as she shoved him out the door, slammed it, then immediately opened it to Rhys still standing right there and kissed him silly. Elain looked away to hide her blush, to hide her jealousy.

Not that she was jealous of Feyre for having Rhysand in _particular_ as a boyfriend - admittedly he was very handsome - but rather she was jealous of that careless, easy love that came to her younger sister so easily.

Even though Nesta’s relationship with Cassian was rocky at first, and that was putting it gently, but even her older sister found an easy, happy routine with her partner. Elain just struggled so much more than her sisters, and though she was happy for them, she was also envious.

Everything was set up, decorated, displayed, and clean. Now all that was left for them to do was get ready.

They all headed to Feyre and Rhys’s bathroom, it was the largest one in their home, with double sinks and a huge vanity. Feyre, Nesta, and Elain all set out their cosmetics side by side by side and got to work dressing themselves up, listening to music loudly, and laughing.

Elain was having a marvelous time, and the party hadn’t even started yet. Feyre gave her so much to do while setting up, and now that they were getting ready, between her and Nesta, her sisters distracted her perfectly from her home life and all things Graysen. She didn’t even think about her bruises or her night last night until Nesta was using her concealer and Elain swiped it from her when she was done. Elain would need it if she planned on wearing the pretty periwinkle dress tonight. And judging from her sisters’ dresses, that would be way more appropriate than the navy one.

They were all finished with their hair and makeup. Feyre kept hers down in wavy strands that fell to the middle of her back, and her makeup was simple enough – a smoky eye with pale, glossy lips. Nesta did hers up in some complicated and intricate up-do that accentuated her long neck. Nesta’s makeup was more natural on the eyes, but she wore a deep red lip stain that really worked for her skin tone. Elain curled her hair into big, bouncy waves, where she pulled one side back, and used a beaded barrette to keep it behind her ear. Elain’s makeup was the simplest of all of them, peachy, high, cheekbones, a thin line of kohl over her eyelids, and light pink lipstick was all she did differently than her usual mascara and bronzer.

The dress Feyre had laid out on the bed was a deep purple, almost black, with lots of glittery silver and white gems on it. It was a simple spaghetti strap, but still was stunning. In addition to the deep, beautiful color, it was short; and not only was it short, but it had a small slit where Feyre’s thigh would be.

“Rhys is going to be beside himself,” Nesta observed coyly, winking at Feyre.

“Oh you have no idea,” Feyre responded, with a wicked grin, “he has no idea I have this.”

Nesta cackled as Feyre rubbed her palms together.

“Speaking of males being beside themselves…” Elain began, smirking at her older sister, “I’m pretty sure Cassian won’t make it five seconds without pawing at you.”

“I fucking hope not,” Nesta squealed, and all three sisters burst out laughing.

Nesta’s dress was a beautiful bright red. It too was spaghetti strapped, but it was a bit longer than Feyre’s dress, coming just past her knees. What really made Nesta’s dress sexy, was that it was skin tight, and it pushed her breasts sky high. As if that wasn’t enough to have Cassian by the balls, her strappy stilettos were sure to add the finishing touches.

Feyre and Nesta dressed first, which Elain was hoping for because she needed to have privacy in order to apply the concealer to her wrists and get into her dress.

She applied the concealer, then set it with some powder before getting undressed and redressed as quickly as possible. She needed one of her sisters to zip up the back of her dress, but standing in front of the mirror in Feyre’s bedroom, she could still see how flattering the dress was even unzipped.

Her hair looked exactly how she’d wanted it to, she pulled half of it over one shoulder and left the rest to fall down her back. The dress didn’t highlight her jutting bones so much, but she couldn’t help that she was thin, she was just glad that it wasn’t entirely backless to where people could see her spine.

She called out the hall for Nesta or Feyre, and Nesta was the one to enter, handing Elain a full champagne flute.

“Aw. Laney, you look so beautiful,” she whispered.

“It is very flattering,” Elain admitted, toying with the skirts of her dress, “thank you for getting it for me,” she smiled at her sister before taking a sip of the crisp, cool drink.

  
“Not the dress, silly,” Nesta said as she walked behind Elain to zip her up, “though I didn’t do too bad, now did I,” she joked. “I was talking about _you_ though, you look amazing, truly.”

Elain blushed deeply, silently giving thanks for being blessed with such a great sister.

The next moment, Feyre was barging into the room.

“Wowza, Lane, you’re _smokin’_ ,” she did a double-take at Elain and she and Nesta both chucked. “Anyways, people are starting to show up, I need you in there!”

_Here we go,_ Elain though as she slipped on her shoes and headed out towards the main living area of the apartment.


	8. The Party: Part Two

**Chapter Eight**   
**The Party: Part Two**

Azriel

Azriel still had a chip on his shoulder, but overall was having a decent enough time. He picked Cerr up on his way to Rhys and Feyre’s place, so at least he wasn’t showing up alone – however platonic his and Cerr’s relationship actually was.

He had to admit, the apartment looked spectacular. Feyre really outdid herself this time. Figures that his best friend would be with someone as extravagant and over-the-top as Rhysand himself, Azriel thought, chuckling to himself as he took in all of her decorations. There was a banner hanging from the wide entryway to the living room that said “Happy Birthday, Feyre,” on it that was clearly painted by Feyre herself. All of the decorations and lights were purple, black, gray, and touches of navy blue and white. Balloons took up almost every square inch of the floor, almost all of them black except for a few purple ones thrown in the mix.

He and Cerr showed up a little late, though not too late as to miss anything, he just didn’t want to be one of the first ones there. He knew his brothers would be there, as well as Nesta and Feyre, obviously.

Upon arriving he and Cerr went to the drink table, booth, bar, whatever it was. Cerr grabbed a flute of something, champagne or wine, he wasn’t sure, and he grabbed a beer from a large bucket filled with ice and assorted canned drinks. He and Cerr went to say hello to Nuala and Morr, who had shown up to the party together. As in, _together_ , together. He was happy for them.

After that he met up with Rhys. Apparently, Feyre was too busy mingling with all of her guests and Cassian was too busy trying to pull Nesta into any empty room that had a lock on it. Just then he watched as Nesta gracefully walked past them, with an impatient looking Cassian trying to keep up with her and grabbing her hand.

“Poor guy,” Az mused, looking at the spectacle that was a love-struck Cassian.

“Him and me both,” Rhys replied, his eyes on Feyre chatting excitedly with Nuala, Cerr, and Morrigan.

Azriel got a kick out of his brothers’ misery and he took a drink from his beer to stifle a laugh that was sure to earn him a smack on the back of his head from Rhys.

He and Rhys people watched from their places near the wall in comfortable silence. Every once in a while, someone would approach Rhys and say hello, and Azriel would wait patiently for them to go away.

Azriel could feel someone’s eyes on him, though he hadn’t found the source yet. He scanned the room another time, took a sip of his beer when suddenly he choked on the liquid.

Rhys laughed, asking him if he was alright and patting him on the back.

“Holy shit,” Az breathed, barely audible over the music and the sounds of people laughing and talking together.

“Az, why do you look so panicked right now?” Rhysand looked up, but only saw the three Archeron sisters and Cassian headed towards them.

“Rhys that’s _her_ ,” he whisper-yelled as they got closer.

“Who her? Laney?”

And suddenly, it all made sense. Az felt so stupid he hadn’t realized it before. With all his obsessing, he should’ve come to the realization much sooner that Elain and “Lane/Laney” were one and the same. No wonder he thought he knew her from somewhere, she had the uncanny characteristics of an Archeron. He knew that Feyre and Nesta had another sister, he had just never met her before. He should have put it together.

Rhys started busting out laughing, and was met with confused expressions from Feyre, Nesta, and Cassian, only Elain seemed to know what his laughter was about.

Azriel felt the tips of his ears go hot, he hadn’t been truly embarrassed in who knew how long.

“’So funny, Rhys,” Cassian asked casually when they were in closer proximity.

“So the girl that our Azriel has been constantly _obsessing_ about over the past month,” Rhys got out between bouts of laughter, “is none other than our dearest Laney.”

Confusion at first, then realization dawned on every single one of their faces. Feyre and Nesta, though they didn’t outright laugh, had identical, sly smiles on each of their faces. They both turned to Elain, who was standing in the middle of the two of them, trying to make herself look small, throwing her questioning, but adoring looks. It took Cassian a moment longer, before he too started cracking up just as Rhysand had.

“Elain,” he wheezed, “Laney,” he wheezed again, pointing back and forth between Azriel and Elain.

Azriel nodded. “Very funny,” he deadpanned, clasping his hands together, “do we want to wrap it up now, brothers? You’re making Elain uncomfortable.”

For truly Elain was blushing the most adorable peachy shade. _God, Elain,_ Azriel thought as he took her in. When he first saw her, he almost didn’t recognize her. She was so curvy, so feminine, such fragile beauty eluded her every pore. He thought she was beautiful the first time he’d seen her in his shop… if he thought she was good-looking then she was a goddess now. He knew it was probably not the most gentlemanly way to look at a woman, but he couldn’t help himself; he let his eyes rake up and down her form, once, twice, and then back up to her face. She had done her makeup a bit more than the times he’d seen her before, it only enhanced her already natural beauty. Her hair was fuller and livelier than before. And that _dress_. It wasn’t scandalous or sexy, as a matter of fact, it was modest. But it was so uniquely her, it made Azriel’s heart swell to see her in it.

When his gaze lifted back up to Elain’s, she was looking at him with a sort of peculiar awe – like she couldn’t quite tell how she thought of this situation. He hoped she wasn’t disappointed to see him. He hoped his brothers hadn’t scared her off. In a way, it was a relief. He was relieved he finally knew who she was, and he was even relieved that she knew what he thought of her, that he was definitely interested in her. It easier for her to find out that way, because Azriel really wasn’t the best at saying those types of things.

He was distantly aware of the conversations going on around him - but Elain hadn’t spoken, that much he was certain, with his gaze constantly on her face and mouth, he would’ve heard her speak, he wouldn’t have missed it – so he didn’t really care about what the others were saying.

He was looking at her with a hopeful expression. He didn’t want to come off as too predatory, or creepy, Rhys kind of made him out to sound like a stalker. Elain was still looking at him in wonder, like she thought it was crazy he was there, with her, with her sisters and his brothers.

Her gaze was snapped away from him when she turned her attention to Feyre, who had just asked: “Elain, how have you ever met Azriel before?”

“And how did we not know about it,” Nesta asked quizzically.

“I _do_ have a life you know,” Elain barely whispered, “I’ve been to his coffee shop twice, we met there,” she said a bit more loudly before hastily adding, “just by happenstance, I didn’t know he would be there or anything.”

“Of course not,” Feyre said disbelievingly at the same time Nesta made an _mhmm_ sound.

Feyre and Nesta seemed to puzzle it all over, before Feyre said a little too enthusiastically, “Rhys, how about we go get some cake, hm?”

“But I’m not finished embarrassing Azriel yet,” Rhys responded like it was obvious, and was absurd Feyre would suggest doing anything else.

She sighed and began to back away towards the dessert table, but not without catching Rhysand’s gaze and toying with that little slit up the side of her dress and throwing him a wink.

Rhys immediately set his unfinished drink on the counter, “coming, darling,” he said as he chased after her.

“Cass,” Nesta drawled, batting her heavily made-up eyelashes at him.

“You got it, boss,” he said, tucking her under his arm and leading them to some unoccupied room with a lock – presumably.

“That wasn’t obvious or anything,” Elain said, watching her sisters and Rhysand and Cassian leave the two of them alone.

“They’re not very gracious, no,” Azriel agreed, smiling down at her.

“So,” she said, awkward.

“So,” he echoed.

She looked at him expectantly.

“So I am an idiot, who didn’t put two and two together,” he chuckled nervously.

Elain smiled at him, “don’t tell them, but I secretly hate it when they call me that,” she whispered.

“What? Laney?”

“Yes,” she grumbled, “I hate Laney, though Lane isn’t much better.”

“You should tell them,” he suggested.

“Oh, I have,” Elain said, letting out a breath that was half a sigh-half a chuckle, “old habits I suppose.”

“Well,” Azriel said, bowing slightly, “I promise to never call you either.”

“Thank you,” she mocked curtseyed. And they laughed.

Elain spoke next, “so I had no idea that Cassian and Rhys had another brother.”

“Oh yeah, we go way back,” Az told her as he rubbed nervously at the back of his neck. But talking about his brothers was a safe topic. It was a conversation that flowed easily, and had lots of opportunities for added questions, funny stories, and the potential to get off track and get to know Elain better that way.

When it seemed like Azriel had told Elain the entirety of his life’s story, minus the ugly bits, and they were finished talking about his obnoxious brothers, Azriel asked, “so, can I get you a drink?”

***

Elain

This would probably be the right time to call Hannah and get picked up, she thought. Here would be a good place to kindly decline Azriel’s offer, or even bring up that she had a boyfriend.

But, she did neither.

Instead, she let him lead her over to where drinks were set out and being served. He handed her a flute, with some of the light, golden liquid in it and she sipped at the cool contents.

Having already had two of these before, she took her time with this one.

Elain hardly ever drank anything alcoholic. Fewer than four times she could recall ever experiencing being buzzed - let alone drunk - but she definitely was feeling a buzz now, and she did not want to make a fool of herself in front of anyone at this party, especially Azriel.

Admittedly, other people were acting pretty exuberant. She could see people become more daring as they drank, gathering the courage to go speak to a pretty girl, or a handsome man, or shamelessly dance in the area Feyre cleared out in her living room – specifically for that purpose.

As a matter of fact, she herself was feeling more daring than ever. With the freedom from Graysen, being surrounded by people she trusted, and the alcohol flowing in her system, she was feeling bold. Though Elain’s definition of the word varied greatly from Feyre’s or Nesta’s, she’d found herself making eye contact much easier now than before the drink, she caught herself several times leaning closer to Azriel, hanging off every word he’d said. Not shying away from his subtle flirting and carefully worded compliments. It didn’t hurt that he was so charming, he got her to open up to him much easier than anyone else would have, usually she was so closed off; but now she was rambling on about stories from her childhood and talking about her favorite flowers, which were Magnolia’s by the way, they just, unfortunately, didn’t grow in this climate.

Several times she got Azriel to laugh, and she felt so accomplished when she did. He had the most beautiful mouth, with straight, white teeth and full lips, with canines that were just a _tad_ bit sharper than the average persons’. It gave him an edge. His voice was so deep and quiet, seductive, but when she got him to laugh, it was all-encompassing, overwhelming - free, as if he didn’t hold back. She quickly fell in love with the sound.

She was looking up at him, tears in her eyes, and belly clenched from laughing so hard with him, when she recognized the beautiful dark-skinned barista from Daily Dose approach them.

She smiled politely at Elain, but otherwise didn’t say anything. She turned to Az, placing her palm on his bicep and gently squeezing, nonchalantly, like it was a familiar gesture. Elain watched the movement with intense focus, her face freezing over in horror as realization dawned on her.

Of course, she thought. _Of course,_ the exotic beauty that worked for Azriel would be his girlfriend.

Cerridwen - Elain had learned was her name - leaned in close to Azriel’s ear, to whisper something sexual, or to just be heard over the music, Elain wasn’t sure, but was betting on the former.

Azriel turned his full attention to her, looking away from Elain as he nodded, reached into his leather jacket, and produced a set of car keys, handing them to the woman.

She gave another squeeze to his bicep, before she turned to leave and waved over her shoulder to Elain in goodbye.

Elain, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted, looked back and forth from Azriel to the backside of Cerridwen’s head, putting the pieces together.

Azriel, looked confused. “Ah, Elain? You okay?”

“Yes, I just didn’t realize…” she trailed off, breathless. Regaining her composure and plastering the most superficial smile she could muster to her face, she added, “it doesn’t matter,” she shrugged and tossed her hand airily, “it’s not my business anyway.” Who was she to be feeling hopeless that he had a girlfriend; considering she herself had a boyfriend? Her _keeper_ , more like, but still. She forced a chuckle from her mouth before stating, “it’s getting late, I really should be going.”

This snapped Azriel’s confusion away, replaced by desperation for her to stay. He didn’t know what he’d said or done to drive her away, but he knew he wanted to take it back, fix it, whatever it was. Elain gave him a small smile, before turning away to go say goodbye to her sisters. Azriel followed after her, “wait, Elain,” she kept walking, she heard him mutter a curse through his teeth, “Elain, hold up.”

Azriel reached out to grab her wrist. Gently, yes, but to Elain, it felt so much like the bite of Graysen’s locked fist, clenched tight around her wrist, right before he…

She panicked, and yanked her arm away from Azriel with too-much force, hitting herself in the chest with her own hand.

“ _No!_ ” She pleaded, out of habit, more than anything.

Azriel looked so shocked, almost like he was in pain. His gaze, brows furrowed, bounced from where his hand was still stretched out towards her, and her wrist that she was now clutching in front of her chest, tears forming in her eyes, and not from laughter this time.

Azriel’s facial features turned to disgust, to pity, as he understood. The look made Elain hate herself. Azriel knew PTSD when he saw it.

“Elain,” he choked out, “ _no_ ,” he whispered in disbelief.

But she was in panic mode, her fight or flight kicking in, and she was trying her best to flee without causing a scene.

“Elain, wait, I’m sorry.”

“Goodbye, Azriel.”

For some reason, Azriel felt like it was a final goodbye.

***

Elain

Elain reached into her clutch to pull out her phone. She had two missed calls from Graysen. _Shit, shit, shit._ She noted the times, one call came in at 9:03 and the second at 10:49. It was a quarter till midnight. _Shit!_

She had no missed calls from Hannah though, which meant that Graysen hadn’t called her or the estate. Relief. She called Hannah from Feyre’s bathroom and asked her to come to get her now.

With only fifteen minutes until Hannah got there, she wandered around the partygoers looking for Nesta or Feyre. She found Nesta, in quite the entanglement with Cassian in a hallway. She laughed to herself as she made her way down the hallway.

“Hey Lane, what happened to Azriel,” she asked as Elain approached, looking around behind her in search for the male in question, not removing her arms from around Cassian’s neck.

Elain just brushed off her sister’s inquiry, “I came to say goodbye,” she said as she wrapped Nesta up in her arms.

Ignoring Elain’s obvious deflection and attempt to escape, Nesta asked, “well don’t you want him to walk you out to your car?”

“No, Nesta, gods,” she laughed as she turned to leave.

Elain went to find Feyre next, but only came across a satisfied-looking Rhysand.

“Hey, Rhys, my ride is here, can you tell Feyre I said happy birthday?”

Rhys patted her shoulder, “sure thing, Lane.”

And Elain left.


	9. The Break Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW – Major Depictions of Violence/Abuse/Rape
> 
> This is probably the darkest chapter of this fic, please be advised if you have any trigger warnings!

**Chapter Nine**  
 **The Break-Up**  
TW – Major Depictions of Violence/Abuse/Rape

Elain

Elain was in the back seat of the sleek, but modest car Hannah picked her up in. Still reeling from the fact that not only did Azriel have a beautiful, exotic, girlfriend, but that faint touch at her wrist that sent too many flashbacks for her to calm.

“How did the party go,” Hannah asked coyly, meeting Elain’s gaze in the rearview mirror.

“I had fun,” Elain replied. An answer, yet not. “Is everything okay back… there?”

“As far as I know, yes, I didn’t hear anything amiss. You should be in the clear,” she shot Elain a wink before turning her eyes back to the road, as the light they were stopped at now glowed green.

Elain let out a sigh of relief, at least one thing had gone right tonight, then.

When they returned to the estate, Hannah dropped Elain off at the front door and drove the car around to park it in one of the garages.

Elain stumbled in the front door, not drunk, just a little disoriented, intensified by the high heels she wasn’t used to wearing.

“Hello, Elain.”

She knew that voice. It was in every one of her nightmares. She couldn’t escape that voice, no matter where she was or where he went, it haunted her always.

Her breath caught in her throat and she dropped her bag, its contents clashing with the polished hardwood floor below. For a moment she was frozen. Too afraid to move, to look to see if he was real, to breathe.

“You lying, filthy, _whore_!” He spat at her, and although she had not yet moved an inch to face him, she heard the chair he was sitting in hit the wall as he pushed off of it with such a force that it slammed into it.

In three thunderous steps, he was before her, slapping her so hard on the side of her face her knees gave out. A shooting pain racing to her skull where she could have _sworn_ her brain ricocheted in her skull.

“No, please,” her hands cupped the side of her face where she lay, sprawled out in the foyer. But her voice sounded weak, empty.

“You think,” _slap_ , “that you can just,” _slap_ , “disobey,” _kick_ , “what I tell you.” With each word, with each assault, he was closer to her than before. Until that last kick sent her sprawling several feet away from him.

His voice was cool and even as he knelt in front of her once more. Elain tasted the coppery taste of blood in her mouth. She could barely make out his form in her vision from the swelling and tears in her eyes.

“You will learn, Elain, not to disobey me, one way or the other.”

One moment Graysen was staring down at her, about to give her another one of his many forms of abuse, and the next he was rocked with such force that he was jarred away from her. Moving with momentum in the opposite direction of her.

Standing in replace of where he was, was Hannah, a solid oak-handled umbrella in her hands.

“Quickly now, Miss Elain,” she said, reaching under Elain’s armpits to hoist her up, never taking her eyes off of Graysen – who was admittedly lying on the floor, but he was shaking his head as to clear it, and Elain felt the urgency then.

Never before had she had the option to flee. Only to endure. She had never been so happy, so relieved to see Hannah as she was in that moment then.

Hannah quickly rushed them back to the car and after slamming the door shut behind her, she was speeding off down the long drive.

“When I went to the garage and saw that Master Graysen’s car was back, I knew something was wrong,” she said franticly. Speeding down the roads on the outskirts of town. Her eyes darting back and forth from the road to the rearview mirror so rapidly, Elain didn’t know how she did it.

“Miss Elain, you must stay awake,” she said with fervor. “Miss Elain!”

“Just- just for one moment,” Elain whispered as she let her eyes slide shut.

***

Azriel

Seeing that Cerridwen wanted to leave early, and Azriel didn’t want to part with Elain yet, he had given her his car keys and was now stranded, sulking at Feyre and Rhysand’s place while her party came to a close.

He would wait until Nesta and Cassian were ready to go back to their own home, and they would drop him off.

But seeing that Nesta was Feyre’s gods-damned _sister_ , she would likely be the last to leave.

A few drunken slobs lay half-on, half-off the immaculate leather couch, no doubt would it be stained with vomit and piss-warm beer come the morning. Azriel cringed at the clean-up that would be necessary.

He himself sobered up after Elain left. And would have been clear to drive himself home, had he not gave away his keys. He cursed himself, and not for the first time that evening.

There was a pounding, urgent knocking at the door to the apartment, and Azriel looked to Rhys and Feyre, the latter of which looked like she was about to fall asleep standing up.

“Oh no, not the damned cops,” she mumbled as she strode past Azriel to greet whoever was at her door.

The red solo cup in her hand went crashing to the floor as she let out a deep breath that sounded a lot like Elain’s name.

Instantly Nesta was there, just as Azriel was doing a double-take. He couldn’t see who was there, because of the door, but both of his brothers rushed over only to stumble back carrying a limp female body between them.

He knew that form, recognized her hair now matted with blood, was familiar with that dress that was now torn and sliding off of her pale shoulder.

“Fucking hell,” Azriel breathed as he rushed to help his brothers, following them closely as they carried Elain down the narrow hallway leading back to Feyre and Rhys’ room.

Distantly, distractedly, he heard Feyre and Nesta close behind him, talking rapidly with the women who brought an unconscious Elain back to Feyre’s.

“Graysen.” The woman.

“Is he coming?” Feyre.

“ _I’ll kill him_.” Nesta.

Back and forth, so quickly spoken, Azriel couldn’t keep up. Not as he was fighting off the shock that was threatening to overcome him.

His brothers gently lay Elain in the middle of the bed. She sunk so far into the sheets, making her appear even smaller than she already was. Cassian strode out of the room, back to the living room, and threw those drunk bastards out on their asses. Azriel heard as he locked the front door, then dead-bolted it, then the scraping of furniture, followed by the door handle being twisted – propping a chair under the handle for good measure. Good.

Azriel stood at the foot of the bed. Arms crossed in front of his chest, hand propped under his chin as he took in Elain’s fragile form. Rhys emerged from the bathroom carrying a first aid kit, where he quickly poured hydrogen peroxide on Elain’s open wounds and padded them with a cotton ball. She didn’t even flinch.

Nesta kneeled on the bed beside Elain, hands shaking as she applied pressure to certain areas of Elain’s body.

“Fucking, damned, _alcohol_ ,” she swore as she blinked, trying to clear her head, using her hands once more to assess Elain’s injuries. “Her rib is out of place… here,” she spoke, in a professional tone, Az had not heard her use. A doctor, Azriel remembered. “No other broken bones, concussion is likely.”

Feyre sniffled, “should we take her to the hospital?”

Azriel knew what her answer would be even before Nesta said, “if she wants to we can, but there’s nothing that the nurses or doctors could do that we couldn’t do from home. Her ribs need to be wrapped, and she needs meds, but not until that concussion wears off.” Nesta signed deeply, “she won’t want to go, won’t want anyone else to see her this way,” Nesta trailed off as a tear slid silently down her cheek.

“I know,” Feyre let out. “ _Fuck_.”

Nesta nodded, “We should all go drink some water, sober up.”

Everyone headed to the kitchen, presumably to do just that when Nesta went to the bathroom, got a glass of water from the sink, and set it on the end table near Elain.

“I’m staying,” Azriel said flatly.

“I know,” Feyre replied. “I’ll make you up somewhere to sleep.”

“All of us are staying,” Cassian said, reappearing from the doorway handing Nesta a bottle of water.

“Archeron sisters in here,” Rhysand said from behind Cassian, gesturing to his and Feyre’s bedroom, “we can sleep in the living room.”

Reluctantly, Azriel tore his gaze away from Elain’s sleeping form, to go help his brothers clear the mess from the living room and to question the woman who had brought Elain here. Thank the Mother for that woman, he thought as he made his way down the hall.

The woman was standing uncomfortably in Feyre and Rhys’s living room. Seemingly unsure whether she should leave or if they wanted her to stay.

Az watched as Nesta and Feyre quickly approached the woman and swept her up in a fierce hug. She looked a little shocked at the sisters’ affection, but then her face relaxed.

The two of them pulled back, but Nesta kept her hands outstretched and on her shoulders. “It’s Hannah, right,” she asked the woman. She nodded. “Thank you so much for bringing her here, I have no idea what would have happened had you not…” her voice trailed off.

“Tell us everything,” Azriel ordered. His tone a little sharp, considering that Hannah had probably been witness to some horrid things and could possibly be in shock, but he was impatient when it came to Elain. He needed to know who and what was responsible for the state she was brought back in. If only so he could kill them for it.

He felt several pairs of eyes whip to him at his sharp tone, but he kept his gaze unflinching on Hannah’s eyes. A silent demand for her to start talking, and start talking fast.

“I’m one of the housekeepers for Nolan and Graysen Mandray’s estate. I tend to Elain often…” her voice began to trail off as if she didn’t know how to say what she was about to explain. Azriel cleared his throat. _Get on with it_ , it prompted.

Hannah did a little shake of her head as if to clear it. “Right, mister Graysen is not the kindest to lady Elain on his best day. He didn’t always use to be this way, it started a while ago and just got worse and worse over time. I never knew what to do, Elain never acted like she wanted me to step in. Every time I tried to help her or ask if she was okay, she’d shrug me off like it was no big deal.” Hannah’s words spilled out faster and faster as she explained to the point where she was full-on rambling. One sentence flowing right into the next, never stopping for a breath.

“It started out as small things. I would see him shove her a little too forcefully, or hold her hand a little too tightly, he would whisper things in her ear that made the color drain from her face. I tried to step in, believe me! I always kept a closer eye on her when he appeared to be in one of his moods. It had gotten to the point where he always shut the door so I could no longer see what he did to her… but I could hear. I would stand near her door so I could listen, to make sure he didn’t kill her.”

Azriel’s fists clenched so tightly he could see the whites of his knuckles. Nesta made a choking sound as Feyre pinched her eyes shut, tears squeezing out from the corners of them.

Hannah’s eyes got a little watery as she continued. “He never tried to cover anything up. He would just – just leave her there, lying on the floor. I’d go in after he was done, I cleaned her up, put her in the bath, brought in medicine and food… I wanted to do more, I tried to do more, but she never let me.” Hannah looked up from her hands that she was fiddling with in front of her and she looked at everyone in the room listening to her. “I had no idea he would be waiting for her when we got back to the estate, he was supposed to be on a business trip…” her voice trailed off as she thought it over before squeaking, “is she going to be alright,” she tentatively asked.

Nesta, a little choked up, said, “she has a broken rib, and a concussion, a slip lip, a gash on her forehead, and probably a black eye or two, but she will live.”

Hannah nodded sharply, “I’m glad she is going to be okay. I’d better go.”

She made to turn for the door when Rhysand asked her, “And what about you? You can’t go back to your job at the estate.”

“No,” she whispered. “He’d kill me, probably,” she said with a dry, humorless laugh. “I don’t know, I need to go, I need to figure out how I’m going to take care of my siblings,” she trailed off as she began thinking of her next steps. Azriel could practically see the cogs turning in her head.

Rhysand reached into his jacket and pulled out his business card, scribbled on the back of it, and handed it to Hannah. “Call this number tomorrow, or whenever you get the chance. I’ll have a job lined up for you by Monday if you wish, and if it doesn’t suit your fancy, I’ll pull every string I can to find you what you’re looking for.”

Hannah’s eyes looked a little glossy as she thanked Rhys profusely. Everyone thanked her in return as she made her leave. Az didn’t stick around to say goodbye, he turned on his heel and headed back to the bedroom where Elain was sleeping.

***  
_He could do it. He could get away with murder,_ he thought as he sat in the armchair beside Rhys and Feyre’s bed where Elain was sleeping. _All he had to do was –_ Nesta’s footfalls shocked him out of his sinister thoughts.

“Az, you should go in the living room. You’re not going to be able to help her by silently brooding. Go get some sleep.”

He simply shot her a look that said no way in hell was he moving.

Nesta rolled her eyes as she came around to Elain’s beside to check on her again. Since sobering up some, she did a more thorough examination of Elain’s wounds. She had her stethoscope in her car which she and Cassian ran out and got right after Hannah had left. She shined a light in Elain’s eyes, felt her ribs again, pulled up her shirt, and checked for signs of internal bleeding and bruising, listening to her chest and lungs. Feyre had changed Elain out of her bloodstained dress when Nesta ran out, she had put her in some of her clothes and one of Rhysand’s too-big University T-shirts.

“No decreased breath sounds in either of her lungs,” she quietly whispered to herself or to Azriel, he didn’t know, “damned lucky.”

Azriel scoffed. No part of this situation was _lucky_. And if there were just a sliver of luck, it was that Hannah had gotten Elain out of there and brought her to him in time. To _him_. To Azriel.

He didn’t know why he felt such a claim on her. Didn’t know what it was about her that made him throw all caution to the wind, had him so twisted up in knots over her, her face never leaving his endless thoughts about her. Deep down he knew he had no right to feel the possessiveness he felt over her. He’d only met her twice. _Fuck_ , she didn’t need a man to obsess over her and be possessive when god knows what kind of selfish, manipulative, abusive, son of a bitch, coward she had been with before.

He took in a deep breath. Let his mind calm down.

Elain had only been sleeping for probably two hours when she first stirred. Azriel sucked in a breath and watched her like a hawk as he waited for her to open her eyes. She moved several more times, sleeping restlessly when she finally opened her eyes about forty-five minutes later. He leaned closer to the bed, entering her field of vision, looking frantically between her unfocused eyes, searching for any sign of more severe damage.

It took her a while, but her glossy eyes finally met his dark ones.

“Azriel,” she asked, pinching her eyebrows together in confusion, causing her to wince.

“Yeah, baby, I’m here.” _Baby? Why had he called her that?_ Maybe because at this moment she looked so small and fragile, she needed as much care and gentleness as a newborn babe would.

“S’sleepy,” she mumbled, blurring her words together, talking in cursive.

Azriel placed a scarred hand gently on her hairline and brushed her tangled mass of hair off of her forehead.

“Shh, it’s okay, you can sleep in just a moment, okay? Just let us get a good look at you first.” He looked up from her for just long enough to shout down the hall for Nesta before returning his gaze to hers.

“’Gonna be so mad at me,” she murmured. Her words mumbled, but she still trembled as she said them.

“No, no, Elain, no one is upset with you, you’re alright,” he comforted her.

He heard Nesta’s footfalls running down the hallways towards their room, several pairs following closely behind. She came to a halt at Elain’s bedside,

“Laney, oh god, are you okay?” Feyre asked behind Nesta, who was once again checking over Elain.

“M’kay,” she answered. There was no way in hell she was okay, the fact that she was trying to downplay this made Azriel realize how many times she’d probably reassured her sisters that everything was okay, when it was really far from it.

“It’s okay, Laney, we’ve got you now,” the sisters spoke to Elain. Fretting over her, tucking her in, and touching her hair.

“So sleepy,” Elain whispered again as she closed her heavy lids a contented, almost drunk-looking soft smile on her mouth.

“Sleep, Elain, you’re safe now,” Azriel whispered to her, and he meant it.


End file.
